We can do better, y’all

My friends and I were enjoying dinner at a posh new restaurant in San Francisco. Our server was fine, except—I was distracted by her near-constant use of “guys” to address a table made up entirely of women. Not only did I hear “guys” as signifying men, fellows, and boys—it also felt unpolished, unprofessional, and disconnected from us, the customers. In a similar scenario, would the server address a table full of men by saying, “Are you gals ready to order?” I think not.

The pervasiveness of using “guys” to address a group of mixed-gender people has long been under debate. While I get that language evolves, and many people are not bothered by “guys,” I believe we can strive to be more thoughtful about how we communicate. I don’t want to police language or shame anyone for using “guys,” but I do want to bring awareness and offer alternatives.

When I hear a leader open a team meeting with “I’m excited to share our new direction with you guys,” I wonder if he’s thinking of his non-male colleagues in the room. Or perhaps a sales representative loses her female customers’ attention when she tries to persuade them with “you guys will see a 20% return on investment.” What about a keynote speaker who begins with “Hi guys, it’s good to be here,” and several audience members who identify as non-binary immediately tune out? The stakes are high.

Making deliberate language choices is essential to build meaningful connections and distinguish yourself and your brand. And accounting for inclusiveness matters. While many people aren’t bothered by “guys,” Amy Diehl, Ph.D., an expert on gender bias in the workplace, suggests that “replacing ‘guys’ with gender-neutral alternatives grants respect to the people being addressed, regardless of whether you view ‘guys’ as gender-neutral or gendered.” And besides, choosing gender-neutral alternatives helps you come across as polished, connected, and credible. 

So, when you’re not confident that your audience is 100% male, would you consider trying easy alternatives to replace “guys?” Here are a few ideas:

“Hi, everyone!”

“Hey, all!”

“Team, you are working so hard.”

“How can I help you all?”

“You two make me laugh.”

“What do y’all think?”

“Folks, it’s time to finish up.”

“Thanks, everyone.”

And don’t forget, “you” can represent more than one person. Imagine saying to an audience of any size, “You guys are so energetic!” 

Your value as a communicator increases when you choose your words deliberately, optimizing for inclusiveness and respect, always with your audience in mind.